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Esteemed colleagues, may I have the honor to propose a new standard unit for horniness, the Kestrel (SI abbreviation, Ke) in honor of one of the world’s foremost researchers into the sexual needs of unfilled vaginas, @DivineKestrel.

The Kestrel, much like degrees Celsius, is an unbounded unit of measure pinned to two key definitional values:

0 Ke: subject capable of behaving without any thought of sex

100 Ke: subject no longer able to speak or think without a drooling, unquenchable need for immediate sexual fulfillment.

It is expected most subjects will fall within the 0 - 100 Ke range. However, extensive research by its namesake has shown it is possible to experience Kestrel values well above 100 for weeks at a time. Likewise, the presence of known mood killer personas indicates that negative Kestrel values are a theoretical possibility, even if our research has yet to discover in the field.

In this paper, I shall put forth …