if heaven exists, don’t you think that there would be way too many people there? so many people - most of the people who have ever lived, except for the ones that go to hell i guess. maybe heaven is overcrowded.

if everyone - and every pet - we ever loved is up there, what makes us stay down here? what makes people stay here at all? would you want to be with the people you’ve lost? all waiting for you up there? maybe people stay because no matter how much they try to say they believe in god and heaven, they may have a tiny seed of doubt deep down. i’ve spent my whole life wondering what happens when we die. i wonder how ill feel about that on my death bed, if i make it there.

before i lost my cat, one of my biggest and deepest fears was death and the total loss of my consciousness. after i lost him, i started to wonder what the difference is between being asleep and being dead. when we are asleep, our consciousness is gone. hours of nothing go by, especially if you wake up and don’t remember your dreams.

i don’t feel so scared anymore. that wasn’t really something i wanted to work towards because i knew it was the only thing keeping me here.