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When you are studying for school/uni/whatever, math sucks. They don't teach you much, they put a lot of pressure on you in the form of exams and grades and stuff, when you don't understand something or you're doing bad for some reason they treat you like an idiot rather than encouraging you, etc etc.

But when you are doing things by yourself, it's much different. No pressure, you study what you want, and you can appreciate the beauty in it.

Reminds me of when I was 13-14 and they put me in the worst classroom of high school. Everyone hated me, teachers hated me for not studying (because why would I in that environment?) and treated me like an idiot, so I was having terrible grades while I was at home coding in my computer using the same math I was failing there.

Next year they put me in a better classroom with better people and a much better environment, although not perfect, and my grades suddenly spiked and I was not an idiot anymore, what would you know. They are probably still wondering why, 18 years later.

And people wonders why our education system is such a failure. Well, go figure!