@a7 one of these i sometimes tell people is along the lines of

if you agree to do something or attend somewhere then you do it. delivering is what affects your reliability score in people's minds. excuses may get you out of immediate trouble but--as far as the scoreboard goes--you still failed. so if you agree to attend an event, and don't four weeks in a row, and have an excuse every time, you may have skirted the wrath of the host with the excuses but they stop inviting you because your reliability is 0% and they don't have time for that shit.

a lot of low status people haven't really been trained in how any of this shit works.