If I were a magician I would conjure myself the fanciest of moustaches. Not too ostentatious. But enough that you'd nod approvingly and say a quiet 'hmmm!'. People would just respect me when they met me but they wouldn't know why. I'd command so much respect with my fancy new moustache. Sadly, the few times I've tried to do one without magic I immediately look like a paedophile. Which isn't the look I'm going for.