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I keep thinking more and more about that internal dysphoria I feel, not how others see me but how I see myself. It seems when I look in the mirror, I am not seeing a man, I am seeing a resemblance to someone I am related to, my pretransition self. I think much in the way someone who knows a man for a long time sees his face in his sister after meeting her for the first time.

I’ll always be related to that person, I’ll always resemble him, but it doesn’t mean I see his face.