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I've been thinking about what would make a better metaphor to replace the parable of The Scorpion And The Frog. How about this: The Capitalist And The Sea Turtle.

A capitalist is shipwrecked on a remote island. He sees a very large sea turtle on the beach and asks if it will carry him back to the mainland.

The turtle says "But you are a capitalist. If I let you onto my back, you will kill me and sell my flesh and shell for profit."

"But that would be foolish because we would both die," said the capitalist. "It is inconsistent with my own enlightened self interest!"

Accepting this logic, the sea turtle allows the capitalist climb upon its shell. Halfway across the strait, the capitalist tries to strangle the turtle. But the turtle, being at home in the sea, dives deep, forcing the capitalist to let go. Safely out of reach, the sea turtle asks the capitalist, now flailing helplessly, "Why did you do that?"

"I am a capitalist. I could not help myself," the capitalist replied, before sinking out of sight.