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I have also done a lot of reflection on how this 'pushing through' mentality was also negatively shaping how I approached other things such as activism or how I used Mastodon and how going forward I need to be more accepting of the seriousness of my fatigue and related symptoms and the dangerous game I am playing by trying to 'keep up' because of not wanting to miss out or whatever. If it's something or someone worth my time, me being true to the energy limiting and multi system nature of my illness is essential - people will then know the real me. The amount of time I have spent worrying at night about the damage I am doing to my body and how I am getting increasingly closer to severe and also my fear of what will happen when I properly radically rest is a testament to how I really do need to change even further in how I live with this illness.