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A moderator of a FB group I frequent has fallen headlong into the “politeness” trap, insisting that participants observe “civility” and “manners” when they post.

Many of you probably already recognize that #politeness is a trap. It is a tool used by aristocrats and the powerful to silence dissent, by protesting *how* the oppressed choose to cry, instead of dealing with *why* they cry. Southern slaveowners were probably the most polite bunch of folks you’ll ever know.

Focus on what’s important: kindess, empathy, respect, tolerance. And tell politeness to go fuck itself.