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@jhooper -- In my 40's, I had a coworker about the same age and he was a major asshole. He had a tendency to make backhanded compliments and such. I once asked him how he got to his age with all his teeth, and when he found out I was a martial artist, his comments became more careful and polite.
Be fair and kind, but take no bullshit. The reason people are shitty on the internet and on the phone is because they won't suffer the consequences of saying those things face to face.