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The Tale of Two Gynecologists

This is a bit long, and I've talked about this a lot lately, but it's something I'm thinking about a lot in the wake of so much hatred of female Healthcare. When my female troubles got bad enough that I finally talked to my doctor about it, he referred me to a gynecologist. I had already had several ultrasounds and an MRI at this point, and she had put me on some oral contraceptives for several months, (which made sick to my stomach no matter what I did) and had just done another ultrasound. She greeted me with "Well, you're really messed up inside, Honey.", which already had me pretty stressed out. Then told me I would probably need surgery to figure out exactly what was going on. She then asked me if I wanted children, and I said No. I had taken my husband with me to the appointment for moral support, and she glanced over at him, and then talked to me for 5 minutes about how many women my age could still have children, and I could definitely consider it, and that they would do everything they could to make sure I could stay viable. They could freeze my eggs if I had to do a hysterectomy, just on and on. She probably asked me directly 4-5 if I was sure I didn't want kids. Finally, I said, "Ma'am, my husband got a vasectomy over a decade ago, we are absolutely sure we don't want kids." After hubs had found me crying on the toliet, because my period was late again, he went to his doctor and said, "Hey doctor, I'm thinking about a vasectomy." The doctor gave him a pamphlet to read, and made him an appointment. The whole thing was done in a few weeks.

Anyhow, she finally referred me to a gynecological surgeon, and I was not looking forward to dealing with this again, and was just generally terrified of having surgery for the first time. I met with this woman and she was so efficient and practical. It is the longest doctor appointment I've ever had, since this surgery would be exploratory, she went over every possibility of what could happen when she was inside. She did a thorough exam, she went over all the scans that I had, and explained why she thought this needed done. Then she said she would like to put in a Mirena IUD during surgery. She said, "You're in pain half the month, and there's no reason for you to have a period if you don't want to have kids. You'll have some erratic bleeding for six months, but by a year most women have a very light or no period at all, there's no reason for you to needlessly suffer if you don't end up needing a hysterectomy."

It's interesting to me still, that one doctor was so focused on what my body could do, and another so focused on how I felt. I came out of the first appointment feeling scared and confused, and the second feeling heard and cared for. Feeling valued as a person and not a baby maker made the surgery much easier to go through, and the Mirena has been great btw. Women don't have to needlessly suffer.