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I find myself reminded of many years ago when I still used Facebook, of no longer mentioning my dog's bad behavior (when he was still a puppy) because EVERY time I did, I was flooded with unsolicited advice (almost always by cis men!) and this was a group of people I at least somewhat knew, not total strangers.

Like, I get the desire to connect with someone by replying to their story with one of your own. But this is more than the often-autistic thing of "I'm attempting to show you empathy by describing a similar situation I experienced." It's jumping to "THIS is how you SHOULD handle this situation," almost entirely at people who DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR ADVICE.

Consider the massive difference:
"I'm looking for alternatives to (name of tech thing, service, whatever)" vs "I'm having issues with (tech thing)"

One is a direct solicitation of advice. The other is a gripe.

You CAN, by my own standards of internet etiquette (others may vary), reply with something like "I had that issue too, that's why I started using (alternative tech thing)." that is ENTIRELY DIFFERENT from "you SHOULD use (alternative tech thing) because (tech thing you're currently using) is trash."

I mean, the difference is obvious to me, but judging by the posts by so many others dealing with #replyGuys, it apparently isn't? And yes, I do think #whitePrivilege and #malePrivilege do play a role, because it's simply the reality that our culture places the utmost value on the words spoken by people who are white, male, or both. You don't have to choose privilege to benefit from it.

Anyway this post, itself, is a gripe/rant, and is not, in fact, a solicitation of advice for how to deal with reply guys. Feel free to reply with your own experiences with them, but for the love of Apollo, please DON'T reply with anything that can be boiled down into "you should..."

Or you're just further exemplifying the very issue I'm right now griping about 🙃