Scene: a room at my small liberal arts college in the early '90s. My friends Spence and Topher, boyfriends, lazing in bed together.
Spence: "You need me."
Topher: "You know, it's true, I really do. Maybe I don't say that enough out loud, but I want you to know that I feel it often."
Spence: "..."
Topher: "..."
Spence: "No, I mean you kneed me. Just now. In the balls."