Vampire Wife FAQ

1. Will sunlight harm my vampire wife?

No, sunlight does not "harm" your vampire wife. Vampires avoid sunlight because they are autistic. Your vampire wife is autistic. Bright lights & heat bother her. Also, she lacks the social skills to deal with unfamiliar people. Most people are asleep at night, so that's when she goes outside. Since no one is around at night, no one will laugh at her frilly gothloli dresses, which she wears because she is autistic. Your vampire wife does not like being laughed at.

2. Does my vampire wife need to drink blood to survive? Can she eat human food?

No, your vampire wife does not need to drink or eat anything to survive, she's immortal, that doesn't make any sense. Your vampire wife can eat human food just fine, although she will be a picky eater, because she is autistic. She will most likely be partial to tea & pastries (the pastries will not make her fat, because she is a vampire). She only drinks blood because she likes the taste & it powers her magic.

3. Is my vampire wife weak to garlic?

No, but the smell & taste of it really bother her due to her autism.

3. Why does my vampire wife sleep in a coffin?

Your vampire wife is autistic, lights & little noises irritate her, making it difficult for her to sleep. Inside of the coffin is perfectly dark & the coffin's padding is filled with sound-absorbing foam giving her a reduced-stimulus environment that allows her to peacefully drift off to sleep.

4. Why does my vampire wife wear a cape?

Your vampire wife's "cape" is actually a stylish weighted blanket, of the sort autistic people find comfortable. This is why she sleeps with it in her coffin at night. She can also raise it up as a shield to protect her eyes from streetlamps, & other sorts of bright lights that cause stimulus-overload in autistic people (such as vampires).

5. I work days, but my vampire wife is only awake at night. How can I spend more time with her?

Quit your job. Your vampire wife can use her hypnotic eyes to make rich people give her money. The older she is the more of a fortune she will have amassed. It's not good to sleep nights when your vampire wife's autism won't let her be awake during the day. She may act distant at times, & go for long walks in cemeteries by herself. This is because the proximity of other people is difficult for her to handle, due to her being autistic. Sometimes she needs a break from people. But she doesn't want to always be alone; she gets lonely. She wants to be with you, & spend time with you. It's why she married you. Spend time with your vampire wife.