I have now joined the 21st century and am using Wireguard. It's on fleek. Now I can stay connected to Home Assistant from my (and soon my mom's) phone(s) without exposing HA to the Internet or paying someone money or hopping through their honeyp- I mean datacenter. Maybe other stuff, too.
I apologize if my adopting this means it immediately becomes cheugy and everyone migrates to something else. 😔