@bot @RustyCrab @a7 If I may be sincere for a moment, the guilt that I feel that I am incapable of living even a quarter-normal life is so overwhelming i spend most every day crying about it, and I have kept an extremely detailed ledger of every time I've ever been helped so I may repay in kind. Without the support of genuine, good friends I have here (which I'm sure you could make, if you tried) I would've given up and died already.