I don't fucking want ot get chubby do you know how fucking sick it would make me to gain like that let alone maintain it when my metabolism instantly tries to shed it?

Also it's a rly fucked sexual gaze on my body. I don't want a more cis feminine fat distribution. Im actually *very* happy with my androgynous form and the one time I did shed a little weight it made me feel better about my fucking body and alleviated some gender dysphoria !!