Not to sound like I have any idea what I’m talking about, but this is just the observations of a #newbie who’s heard and seen a few things. I’ve been learning all that I can since joining Mastodon (and I know it hasn’t been long but I’ve been in the grips of a bad #chronicpain spell so I haven’t slept much) and another big reason people aren’t keen on newcomers joining mastodon.social is it being a mega server not only kinda ruins the sense of community, but your reports are gonna get dealt with about as well as birdsite (slowly and/or with nothing ultimately being done).
If you join a smaller instance with clear rules and active admin who care about the experience and general happiness of their userbase, you’ll have a much better time here. Look (or ask) around, see what feels right for you. Don’t be afraid to move.