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The Devil's Dictionary

CONVERSATION, n. [..] each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.

DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.

DELIBERATION, n. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

REASON, v.i. To weigh probabilities in the scales of desire.