You think it's possible Ralph has some kind of mild schizophrenia?
I've never seen a "normal" person with such unpredictable chains of logic.
"Just stubbed my toe on the sofa! Hurt, but I'll make it through. I know who's behind this one though. Jerry Simmons from my second grade PE class! He thought he was being sly but you can't fool the ralphamale. YOU BETTER SAY YOUR PRAYERS BOY CAUSE YOU JUST MADE A BLOOD ENEMY"