I didn’t grow up in an environment where I was educated about or supported in transition. I basically thought I was fucked up or had a kink or something. When you don’t fit into masculine roles the first thing people think is that you’re gay and I knew I wasn’t attracted to men so I tried (poorly) to suppress my femininity. I didn’t really know that transitioning was an actual thing separate from cross dressing until my 20s and even then it took me a long time to find self acceptance