@feld Well if you ever did get good result from that, good for you. Being understanding of where people come from works best for me. It's not about babying people, it's about not being a pretentious jerk, to me (and I'm not saying you are, but it may easily be read that way, and I think it's a bit slippery and unnecessary).
They did, after all, connect the dot in the end. The "you should have done it earlier !" isn't quiiiite what I'd call helpful or welcoming.