I come from Japan to tell you: big pants are coming. They’re already here but you don’t know it yet. In two years you’re going to be gawking at hip 20-something’s wearing JNCO jeans and baggy shirts with parted hair and you’ll be boosting jokes about the early 2000s. I’m trying to warn you now so you don’t sound old then but we both know you won’t listen. We are both cursed in different ways. See you soon.