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I think a simple change in nomenclature could help Mastodon incredibly. Servers is an inaccurate term and instance is unfamiliar and vague. Both create tension for new users.
Why not simply call Mastodon instances what they are: Communities.
Ask users which Mastodon community they'd like to join. Have community rules, community policy, and community leaders. Not server rules, instance moderators and administrators.

Let me start. Everyone is welcome at our community, https://thecanadian.social