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The general (and relentlessly repeated) advice here, that I am the one who needs to take control over my experience here to have a good time, is honestly really really irritating.

I'm gonna lay this out on the line right now: if I have to put this kind of work in to exist here peacefully, it's more likely that I'll just bow out and stop trying altogether.

My needs and experience here are likely VERY different from yours. At this point, they're often too different to reconcile.