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I think for a while, I ran head first into drama because conflict was familiar. Abuse can be addictive, in the sense that "normal" feels boring. Stagnant. If there wasn't a looming threat or some dark secret to keep, I lost interest. I still struggle to find a healthy middle ground between apathy and intentionally seeking conflict. Lately, I just avoid conflict by blocking anyone clearly seeking it.

Then there's the ones who held relationships hostage for personal gains. This happened to me so often that now, any time someone threatens to dump me or block me online, I tell them: fine, get the fuck out.

The threat of their absence just fuels my desire to be rid of them. It's not that I don't care or I don't see their side of the argument. I just promised myself I would never beg someone to stay again.