So I started taking care of myself and repairing all the damage. I started trying to heal what I had lost and build up what I had never had.
Because when I now for the first time saw myself exist in a future, I felt such a deep connection and compassion to the person I saw there. I wanted to give her everything I could.
And I did. I gave away all of me. Because it was only when I let go of myself and gave it away that I felt I was worth something. It became a reclaiming or a vindication. By simply ceasing to be mine bit by bit and giving myself to her instead, I felt how each part I gave away also got a value that it had never had before. I made a promise to my own future that I would create her no matter what it would cost me. I even have that promise written down.
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