I acquired a new, possibly unpreserved Apple II program called "The Cube," so I went to the usual places online to see if other copies or versions exist. I found a compilation disk that had a program on it named CUBE, which seemed promising. (Programs were frequently reduced to single files to save space.) I downloaded the disk image and fired up an emulator and booted the disk image and ran CUBE and got trolled by a prankster from 1986.
Well played, sir. Well played.