Since shame is so rampant in society as the chief tool of coercive control, it pays for us to be aware of how shame works, especially since many of us are abuse victims and we tend to assume, even subconsciously that any attempt to shame us is legitimate. Shame is an internal emotion that helps us know if we've betrayed ourselves, our integrity and our values. When others shame us it it's important to be aware if they are attempting to restore our integrity or if they're power tripping over us.