Time for the monthly kala tmi story. This one’s good, refill the popcorn.



In my French class in hs there was this really cute girl that I always wanted to go out with. She was short and had dark curly hair and glasses and would always wear baggy jeans and cute flannels, just seemed like a really sweet, quiet chick.

Anyways whenever I was like 17 or 18 or whatever, I decided to ask her out and she said yes. Things went ok until like the 4th or 5th date. She told me when I picked her up that day that we should just get some takeout and eat it at her place since her parents weren’t home. So I was like oh ok cool, cause I mean what dude is saying no to that?

Anyways we get some pizza and head back to her place and into her room. Now the room wasn’t very messy or anything, but it was, ummm concerning? This bitch had Sanrio posters everywhere, and all these little fucking figurines too like hello kitty and shit. I mean her bed sheets were Kuromi and one of the other little fuckers it was nuts. This shit was just plastered EVERYWHERE. But on top of that there were like dozens of punch holes and knife holes in her wall. I pretended not to notice, but upon looking at her hands more closely I could see scarring on them. Ngl at the time it seemed kinda hot (need me a crazy bitch fr ?).

Then this bitch goes “oh hey kala do you wanna watch like tv or something?” I said sure, and went for the remote. She goes to me “oh my tv, uh it doesn’t work I’m we can just use my laptop and put it at the door if my bed.” Sounds good to me I suppose. So she crawls under her, admittedly pretty high off the ground, bed. Which was pretty cute ig, and she comes back out and climbs up into the bed with a laptop also of course plastered in Sanrio shit. So she asks me what I wanna watch and I tell her that I don’t care and I’m cool with whatever she wants to watch, you know expecting her to put something normal on or maybe at worst her like my little pony shit or whatever she watches. No, no of course not. I watch this bitch type in key by key “car crash accident evil gore liveleak compilation 20xx.” I shit you not nigga. I’m just a bit too shocked to even say anything at this point really, but I figure idk maybe she has a tad bit too much morbid curiosity. No, no of course not that wasn’t it either. This girl found it absolutely fucking hilarious whenever the cars in the video would catch on fire and/or explode. I mean she wouldn’t just find it funny, she found it hysterical. But she would laugh in such a lighthearted way about it and with one arm around me and one arm extended pointing at the screen she would go “you see that?! That shits crazy! He just got his intestines sucked out of his stomach and frayed can you believe that isn’t that cool kala?!” And laugh and laugh, pretty much only laugujng at the crashes and then being just really excited about the “cooler” gore parts. Anyways this girl started making out with me and I kinda got distracted from the car crashes obviously. Then this girl is gonna blow me right, and as she’s down there all I have to look at is the side/back of her head and the gore compilation. Weirdest part was the weird way that she was positioned. I was laying down and instead of being directly over me she was like lying on her side on my abdomen doing it. And I ain’t gonna lie this bitch could not stop gagging. I mean I’m not complaining that’s fine it was weird how much she was doing it, but I just figured oh ok she has a bad gag reflex. BUT THEN IT FUCKING CLICKED, SHE WAS ON HERE SIDE FACED TOWARDS MY LEGS CAUSE SHE WAS LOOKING AT THE FOOT OF THE BED AT THE GORE CAR CRASH VIDEO WHILE SHE WAS FUCKING BLOWING ME AND SHE COULDNT SHE WAS GAGING SHE WAS FUCKING LAUGHING. Either way shit was kinda hot tho ig, I dated her for another 2 or 3 months. So like this relationship lasted 3 months I think. Shawty was crazy fr. She also bit me like very hard kinda often I didn’t mind that though.

Anyways I forgot about her for forever and I just heard from a friend she’s been in a psych ward for like 2 years lol go figure. I hope she gets better but chick was evil fr that’s for the better I think. At least she’s not in jail, that’s where I figured she’d be anyways.