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@emma These are all reasonable things but this is not a reasonable situation: the endpoint I am using has nothing to do with the documentation they sent me. I'm not using the authenticated API. I do not wish to use the authenticated API. I shouldn't need to use the authenticated API, because I am trying to get publicly available information, and really the only reason I'm using the API is its much nicer than scraping their screens.

That said, I just saw somewhere here somebody posted a cute cartoon about Scraping Chad vs API-using Virgin which I am feeling *really hard* right now.