I can't believe people still need to hear this, but the real Trump was the liberal tears we drank along the way. The character is a personification of watered-down populism invented by Coca Cola and illustrator Norman Rockwell to sell more cocaine and "Slap a Jap" war bonds. The orange-painted buttgoy at the mall won't actually crawl down your chimney and give you a vegan socialist chancellor for Hanukkah to make the green M&M wear high heels again.

Grow up and write-in a verified antisemite if you really want that "I voted" sticker for your scrapbook. Presidents aren't real, and the world you miss hasn't existed for 2000 years.
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