"she believes you can't be racist if you're a trans woman"

Never said this, everyone is capable of racism and being trans obviously does not make someone less racist.

"ignores the fact that one can be trans and also racist"

And I fully agree with that.

Similarly, if one can be a victim of transphobia and still perpetuate racism, one can be a victim of racism and also transphobic and contribute to transmisogny.

At the end of the day you're just choosing your friend over me and finding lefty language to justify that, but that doesn't make me less in the right for having criticism of one person's treatment towards most trans women on fedi, it's disingenuous