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@Zealist It’s not just the pedigree (which is important, but a known graft can be okay, just not take up leadership roles in the family per se) but the fact that kids derive a lot of themselves from their parents. You can’t nurture a pitbull into being a labrador….and the kind of kids that are happily tossed into the foster system aren’t often the kinds of people I want carrying my family name, carrying my liability around.

I’d have to know the dad, know the mom, and get an idea of their character before agreeing to father a kid. It’s not totally rare, people screw up, but I’ve simply seen it turn out poorly IRL too many times to be comfy with the risk of a blind adoption. I don’t even think I saw a single case where they turned out like the biological siblings, they’re ALWAYS problem kids, like a switch flipped.