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On July 4th, 1054 AD, an astronomer observed a supernova and took detailed notes about it. After a three hour hike through the desert, we found their markings on a canyon wall.

The astronomer didn’t know that it was the Fourth of July 1054 AD because they were on Turtle Island and uncivilized. Civilized European astronomers left no such records because they were too busy fucking cows probably.