Hating the people who hurt you is like poisoning yourself. I know, because I have been there as a survivor of abuse, not to mention as a Black person who grew up in the USA. It doesn’t stop the original pain, and makes you unable to see the situation clearly and thus make the best choices that might help both yourself and others. But it’s *so* hard to realise that when you’re in the thick of it. It took many years for me to realise this.