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My mother had some sort of health check last week, as she’s turned 70, and bloods taken. No problems at the health check, but today she had to have another phone call because her cholesterol is high.

It’s 5.2. Last year it was 5.7, but somehow that was fine because she was only 69 then.

She’s just given me a ridiculously hilarious account of the conversation, in which the only part of her diet or lifestyle that the nurse could find to criticise is that she has full-fat Greek yoghurt with her breakfast of fresh fruit, and then conceded that my mother had a point in not wanting to switch to low-fat because of all the added sugar.

The nurse then got onto the next line of the checklist and informed her that her BMI is a bit low and she could do with fattening up.

(Before anyone says it, no, there is no way she’ll accept statins.)