The issue with me being a very loudmouthed admin is that admins speak for their server.
They can't help it. They set the tone for what's allowable on their server, and I'm a big loudmouth who gave myself a 5000 character limit so I could shout at the world and my only conceit that makes this strange behavior okay is that I post it Unlisted, so I'm off your Federated feeds and not "clogging anything up."
Lots of admins are way more professional about this than I am. They maintain a separate personal account, and this makes it very clear when they are speaking with opinion or as an admin.
And I realize that, including pretty much every admin who is one of my blocklist sources is more professional about how they handle their admin account than I am.
Admins generally don't show their ass like this.
And if they do, they put their server at risk. Someone who can't stand my bullshit might just block the whole server, affecting everyone else on it.
But it does have one benefit.
Everyone who joins my server knows exactly what they are getting into.
It's pretty clear what I support, and what I don't. How I feel about various things. My full-throated defense of your right to block and curate the online world so that it uplifts your own mental health and doesn't serve someone else's agenda for advertising or "debate me, bro," etc.
I have carved out a space where I'm making the (radical) position online that it's okay to redact, filter, curate, and otherwise sort this mess of conflicting boundaries and opinions into something that reflects, for you, a safe space. I realize 'safe space' has a floating definition.
But like-minded people who agree with your methods or idea of a safe space should join it, and "find their people."
To some a safe space is unfiltered, chaotic, but "completely free" federation with anyone and everything, hands-off admins, maintain your own blocklist.
That's not my idea, but the point is, I need to consider whether I limit or suspend that server as a result--or whether I keep an eye on it, and wait for potential (and perhaps inevitable) damage that will occur when our contradictory server policies invariably intersect.
It's not just me and a couple friends I know from real life on the server anymore.
There are people who are at risk here, and that's a weighty responsibility.
My first and foremost job, all bullshit aside, is to advocate for them. I had no business letting them join the server if I wasn't willing to do that.
And if they disagree with my decisions or blocks, they can always leave and take their followers with them, no hard feelings from anyone.
Of course, they are welcome to talk with me about anything, this is not a large server after all, and I'm just down the hall, so to speak, shitposting.
What I tend to be finding is that people want to join my server because of these decisions.
So I guess I'm going to keep on running things like this, but I don't think this will ever be a server that supports a large crowd, and that's another reason it's more okay for me to be so "out loud" as the server admin, I think.
I have my opinions, and you're free to disagree with them. I generally am not the kind to block a server because the admin disagrees with my decisions or federation policies, even when I know the admin pretty much hates me.
Hopefully that lays it out a bit more.