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- Embed this noticeInteresting video. Took a few days to remember to watch it before it was almost time to go to bed. I was more aware of the shame aspect, because that's a big thing in Japan, and also the honor and dignity ("pride") side of things, because it used to be a big thing in Europe, and I have inherited some of that. Though it was also maybe related to shame. There are historical accounts of people being pressured into dueling to defend their honor, when both parties actually didn't have a problem with each other at all. Of course, the ones that complied were cowards, and if anything they should have challenged the people pressuring them into clearly dishonorable behavior.
In my case, I don't have the diseased form of guilt that a lot of people today have, feeling guilty for things that they themselves didn't do and couldn't have stopped (because they weren't even fucking born at the time). I have felt guilt for doing bad things before, but the main influence of guilt on me is that it prevents me from doing bad things, not because of external judgement, but because I myself don't want to be someone that has done them.
Meanwhile, today, most westerners seem to have an inverted form of that. They don't feel guilty for committing actions that harm other people, they only feel guilty for not complying with society, or for resisting its evil. Guilt has been collectivized in a very negative way, people don't take responsibility for the consequences of their own actions, and don't feel bad for negatively affecting others (like, people are perfectly fine buying crap made by slave labor in China, they just keep on consooming without even thinking about it, despite having heard of it, and knowing that it's wrong). In a way, the west doesn't believe in causality anymore. I guess this is all part of the Chinification of the west.
The shame is more complicated. I definitely had a really strong and unhealthy sense of shame, growing up, that I have since been able to tame. Personal shame is something that I have fought against a lot, and I mostly won. But it's still definitely a part of who I am, but in a way it's backwards, compared to the Asian form of shame. Maybe a more western form of shame. It's the shame of being associated with a group that you do not approve of. Like my family, I am definitely ashamed of them existing and being as they are, with no virtue and self-respect. Disgust also applies. Really, the environment that I grew up in, in general, is a source of shame and disgust.
So, I don't feel ashamed because the collective disapproves of me, I feel ashamed of the collective, and don't want to be associated with it, and have moved in the direction of cutting ties and starting from scratch. Which is also not very Asian, but I'd say it's realistic, because every group currently existing on this planet has began with someone deciding that the group they were born into wasn't right for them, and making their own.
I think as usual, the ideal, is a golden mean. Balance. Dignity ("pride") has to be balanced by humility. Fear (that I do have an amount of, though I have intentionally tried to reduce it over time) is necessary for courage to be possible, and there must be a balance of the two. Without fear, courage becomes recklessness. Envy was never a problem for me, and it's purely a negative thing, but admiration for other people and the qualities that they have, and using that as a motivation to move forward and achieve your own version of that, is a good thing (it's not envy, but it's the virtuous form of wanting something that someone else has).
Personally, I'm generally moved to action more by positive things than negative. Negative "motivation" drains the life out of me, and I can't get things done. So, it mostly gets me not to do things, instead of moving me to action. That applies to negative pressure, and fear, and so on.
Of course, my position is unusual, because I don't fit in with the masses, and I'm also past the atheistic phase, and also past the churchianity nonsense that some people are going back to. Philosophizing basically led me to raising truth and fairness to godly status, while also recognizing not knowing the totality of the truth because of human limitations, so, in a way, I'm back where some people in the past were.