>Baking crypto so deeply into your protocol and its culture does not end well IMO.
To be fair, it's not baked into the protocol. Some protocol extensions provide support for Lightning payments, but as far as I can tell they are optional.
Still, community is very pro-Bitcoin and that definitely has big impact on protocol and ecosystem development.
>I am curious what you mean with your fundamental flaw \#1. Doesn't any good UX design hide protocol details from the user? Like, grandma doesn't need to know how TCP/IP works.
In federated systems (APub, Email, Matrix, XMPP...) user is forced to choose an instance. Perhaps counter-intuitively, this inconvenience increases decentralization. The problem of mega-instances still exists, but it is not as severe as it could be. Even email remains somewhat decentralized after many years of GMail domination.
In blockchain-inspired social networks servers/nodes are usually second-class citizens, and I think Nostr belongs to the same category. Most of the development happens at the client side, and developers who want to provide the best UX can even create a client that completely hides the existence of servers/nodes/relays. Client with best UX wins, and invariably it's just a website (see https://iris.to/ for example).