@D-Droid @Wormwood I'm so past the potential delusion, expectations and programming that inspires women to have babies. Like I get it, it's cute - to have this baby to teach and program to be good people. It can be fun too when they're toddlers. But after that point it's like... and during, your life is entirely dedicated to raising these kids. You sacrifice your life to raise another. People have kids so incredibly young, they haven't even had the opportunity to have their own personal journeys and learn all there is to learn about themselves. There is so much value and reward in that.

Not to mention all the stress that comes along with it, people kind of lack foresight or don't care to think about these sorts of things. Kids cost so much too. You are literally sacrificing your life for another. Our lives and time are so precious, it's the most valuable thing of all.

I mean when you really think about it, is it worth having kids in the end. My ideal at this point is just having a great balanced healthy relationship, living comfortably and securely with simple needs, but being able to enjoy life how you feel is for on any given day. Traveling for example - imagine just thinking like, "oh, let's go to so and so!" on a whim, and being able to do that without the restrictions and complications of kids. And being able to financially afford it because all your money isn't going towards your kids. You can also spend money on yourself in these little ways you feel fit without the stress. It's just ultimately the ideal, best way to live life, in my opinion.

Also getting old with kids sucks - it's sad. They feel bad, they don't want to have to interact with you so much. I rather not be that kind of burden. People are scared of dying alone but it sounds like the better option to me. I rather off myself comfortably in peace, without hangups. Having kids in a way is selfish - a lot of people just have kids to fill their time and have something to do, because society expects that of them, and to have people to take care of them when they are old.

If anything, I'd consider fostering at a time that I feel is fit. When you're kind of older and tired. Because having something of value is there, like being a naturally good parental figure - but devoting your life, your youth to that is just next level.

Longposting

For the record I also see the value in becoming a parent. It's just about comparing the two and considering your life and what the most ideal lifestyle would be for you. I'm still an entirely monogamous person - for example, I want that ideal perfect lifetime relationship, and in fact you are more likely to have that without kids, probably. And I value that and romance.

I think having kids for a lot of people makes them feel like they are tethered and trapped to a relationship because of that. Like instead of being good people worthy of having a strong intimate relationship, they feel they need to have kids in order to keep their partners stuck with them. This causes a lot of insecurity in a relationship and issues. Which in turn effects the kids.

Like ultimately you want your kids to be good well-rounded people who can function in society and be responsible, while also knowing there is more to life outside of society and the ways in which it functions. They should know how to be happy and how to have some fun.