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Wow, running ElasticSearch and Kibana in Kubernetes is poorly documented, requires a lot of manual steps that don't lend themselves well to automated deployment, and works badly.

There's a lot of "when your ES pod starts, it will blurp out a bunch of garbage that you have to copy into your Kibana UI".

I don't want that to happen, ever. I want 12-factor apps. I want to configure whatever crap ES needs in environment variables, and whatever crap Kibana needs in another set of env variables.