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<blockquote style="position: relative; padding-left: 55px;"><section><a href="https://masto.ai/users/stavvers/statuses/109551341842222807">Another Angry Woman (stavvers@masto.ai)'s status on Sunday, 15-Jan-2023 00:35:40 JST</a><a href="https://masto.ai/@stavvers" title="stavvers@masto.ai"><img src="https://gnusocial.jp/avatar/41495-48-20221127202416.webp" width="48" height="48" alt="Another Angry Woman" style="position: absolute; left: 0; top: 0;">Another Angry Woman</a><div><a href="https://masto.ai/@stavvers/109551295681818445" rel="in-reply-to">in reply to</a></div></section><article><p>make better choices</p></article><footer><a rel="bookmark" href="https://gnusocial.jp/conversation/794177#notice-2304525">In conversation</a><time datetime="2023-01-15T00:35:40+09:00" title="Sunday, 15-Jan-2023 00:35:40 JST">Sunday, 15-Jan-2023 00:35:40 JST</time> <span>from <span><a href="https://masto.ai/@stavvers/109551341842222807" rel="external" title="Sent from masto.ai via ActivityPub">masto.ai</a></span></span><a href="https://masto.ai/@stavvers/109551341842222807">permalink</a><h4>Attachments</h4><ol><li><label><a rel="external" href="https://gnusocial.jp/attachment/615873">News headlines: "make better choices": endangered Hawaiian monk seals keep getting eels stuck up their noses and scientists want them to stop. Accompanied by a photo of a seal with a slender eel hanging out of its nose.
tkingfisher: So the really fabulous thing about this is that while there’s two basic theories about how the seals get an eel up their nose, there are also problems with both of them. The first is that the seal is shoving its head in holes in the rocks and the eel panics and goes for what looks like a hole—ie a seal nostril. And that would be a great theory, except that seals have what are described as “extremely muscular nostrils” because they gotta slam them closed when diving to keep water out.</a></label><br><a href="https://s3.masto.ai/media_attachments/files/109/551/325/952/284/681/original/4bd8541cbc78e268.jpg" rel="external">https://s3.masto.ai/media_attachments/files/109/551/325/952/284/681/original/4bd8541cbc78e268.jpg</a></li><li><label><a rel="external" href="https://gnusocial.jp/attachment/615874">Which, okay, fine, except that there’s often like two, three feet of eel INSIDE THE SEAL. The stuff hanging out is just the end of the tail. And eels are astonishingly powerful for their size, true, but so are seal nostrils. (Why am I typing these words? How did my life come to this?)
The other theory, of course, is that they barfed up an eel and it came out their nose instead, but we’re talking a fairly impressive feat that the eel lined up just right to come out the nostrils, and also those are BIG eels. It’d be kinda like a human puking a spear of asparagus out of their nose. (Why am I typing THESE words, too? Why?)
The remaining theory, which is actually the one ascribed to by the lead scientist on the endangered monk seal project, is that dumb teenage seals are snorting eels at each other for fun. And y’know…I just…sure. We live in a world where that wouldn’t even be the tenth strangest thing I’ve heard about mammals.
In conclusion, if any young monk seals are following me, Just Say No To Eel.</a></label><br><a href="https://s3.masto.ai/media_attachments/files/109/551/332/906/393/330/original/2114ef9900062277.jpg" rel="external">https://s3.masto.ai/media_attachments/files/109/551/332/906/393/330/original/2114ef9900062277.jpg</a></li><li><label><a rel="external" href="https://gnusocial.jp/attachment/615875">no one:
seals for no reason whatsoever: a modified photo of a person snorting cocaine. The person has been replaced with a seal, holding one nostril shut with a (still human) hand. The other (still human) hand holds a tube to the other (seal) nostrils, snorting lines of eels</a></label><br><a href="https://s3.masto.ai/media_attachments/files/109/551/335/874/720/712/original/170ceb50caf6ef96.jpg" rel="external">https://s3.masto.ai/media_attachments/files/109/551/335/874/720/712/original/170ceb50caf6ef96.jpg</a></li></ol></footer></blockquote>

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Another Angry Woman (stavvers@masto.ai)'s status on Sunday, 15-Jan-2023 00:35:40 JST Another Angry Woman
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make better choices
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