https://archive.ph/DQWYm
>be amerifat
>join burgerland mcmilitary
>go to japan
>climb mount fuji, get altitude sickness
>drive anyway because allergic to walking and public transit
>pass out at the wheel, run over three people killing two
>get a three year sentence
>"this is a travesty! brandon, please help us!"

remove k̶e̶b̶a̶b̶ burger