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@Ben_Droned @professionalbigot69 @nugger People don’t know HOW to be friends, either. When I was a kid the older guys would constantly be shocked at the behavior, like “why didn’t he have your back? Isn’t he your best friend?” and after a while they basically realized that most boys, even the supposedly traditional conservative ones of our area, were socialized more like women. THey put a premium on being liked by the broadest cross section of the tribe, and cower whenever they have to take a position that would require them to set their own strength against the pack.

I’ve essentially given up on it, aside from a rare outing w/ married friends, but even then they’re almost universally governed by their wives. I quit planning trips and outings, too many end prematurely because his chick gets jealous and calls him home.

I’ve literally been on the tarmac with guys for a weekend flight to go out of town and rack up flight time, plane paid for and all, only for her to call and say “ugh I’ve been thinking and I just don’t like you leaving me alone like this. It’s really shitty to just like, go without me!”

“oh sorry man, take it back around, you know how she gets…..it’s not worth the fight.”

after the second one of those happened I was pretty much done. It’s just too hard. No one knows how to say “no” and actually nurture friendships, and women at large feel like every hour a man spends with others is one hour of attention stolen out of her pocket.

Guys fall into the ‘swiss army wife’ belief too, that she might as well be the only friend he has anyway, so who cares about other guys?.