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My partner strongly suggested I try a support group for autistic people, pointing out that since I've returned to San Francisco I haven't looked up any old friends or established new relationships and its too much for me to lean on her.

The support group turned out to be a video call. Long story short, I was listening to people talking about their difficulties with friendships as autistic people, and I thought, I'm isolated by autistic standards.

People often say it's difficult to make friends as an adult. I'm at a total loss. And there's a contradiction. I can talk all day about how we're social beings and so on. But I find spending time with other people an alien experience. Even thinking about meeting new people makes me anxious.

I've joked that I can't stand TV shows showing people hanging out with their friends all the time, because that never happens. Except, as I'm reminded, people do actually hang out, even if not as much as they'd like.

I'm the strange one.