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If Every Job Interview Was Like Tech Jobs

JOB CANDIDATE: Hi, I'd like to work at your company

MCDONALD'S MANAGER: Nice. Do you have any line cook experience?

CANDIDATE: Yep I can line cook in hamburger, hamburger plus, hamburger plus plus, and cheeseburger.

MANAGER: Great we would love for you to work at our company.

CANDIDATE: Awesome! I can start Monday...

MANAGER: Please first solve these hamburger riddles.

CANDIDATE: Wait what?

MANAGER: You need to solve two riddles over the phone and then five more riddles in the actual store to get the job.

CANDIDATE: Is... solving riddles part of the job?

MANAGER: No we just think they're cute.

CANDIDATE: Well that feels kinda pointless and stup-

MANAGER: You only have nine minutes left to solve your first hamburger riddle. Do you wish to give up?

CANDIDATE: Whoa whoa whoa no no sorry I do need this job I just... you know what, nevermind what's the first riddle?

MANAGER: Your mother is a hashbrown and your father is a filet-o-fish. How many pickles go on the bun?

CANDIDATE: wut

MANAGER: Please make sure your solution is in pickles per femtosecond.

CANDIDATE: Uhhh no pickles. Right? Because you don't put pickle slices on hashbrowns or fish.

MANAGER: Hmmm you gave your answer in discrete units of pickles. I'll have to mark you down for that.

CANDIDATE: But I-

MANAGER: Moving on to the next riddle!

CANDIDATE: How many of these do I have to answer right to get the job??

MANAGER: All of them.

CANDIDATE: So why are we even moving on after I got one wrong??

MANAGER: Oh we found that it hurts candidate's egos if we send them home early.

CANDIDATE: You know what I'm not even sure I even want this job anymore.

MANAGER: Whoops looks like the position has just been eliminated and replaced with AI anyway.

CANDIDATE: ...

AI: I can hamburger in 15 pickles per femtosecond.

MANAGER: waow