My wife once went up to a family in a hotel restaurant and told them how polite their child had been at the buffet in front of the child and I was absolutely horrified - if I'd felt that someone had been observing my behaviour as a child and gone back to report to my parents I would probably have never spoken to anyone again, but she would have been really pleased if someone had told her parents how well behaved she had been. A friend and I realised we had completely opposite strategies and both thought we were being as kind as possible to supermarket checkout attendants - she tried to be chatty and friendly, I tried to be as efficient and to the point as possible to let them get through their job faster.
2/🧵