Well, darn. We had scheduled junk guys to come take away the ancient upright grand piano by an excellent maker that no one ever learned to play and that has been living in our garage for the past 15 years, but my wife spontaneously called a piano tuner to check it out first and he came yesterday and said it's actually a very good piano in fine condition and doesn't need much work and he will come back and clean it and adjust it and even replace some broken ivories and tune it, all for $180.
And my wife says I need to learn the piano because it will be good for me. (Our daughters refer to things like this as "parent enrichment activity," as if we were housebound pets who need stimulation and exercise.) So I guess we need to figure out where in the house we can put an upright grand piano, which is not exactly small, and then I need to learn to play piano.