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This is straight from my imagination:

Trump at 9am: "Iran is a terrible country. Horrible. They kill innocent people all the time. Or they lock them in jail. We're going to bomb them till they give up."

Trump at 9:30am (same day): "We're having very good talks with the Iranians. Really good. Friendly negotiations with lots of honest talk. Smart people. I have a lot of respect for them."

Iranian rep at 10am (same day): "We have had no contact with any representatives of the American government during the past four weeks. Only threats, attacks, and the killing of innocent civilians. We will continue to defend ourselves and should the Americans continue their unjustified attacks, they and their allies in the region will pay dearly. We will destroy water plants, power plants, air fields, and data centers. If the Americans would like to negotiate, they can begin by removing all forces from the region."

Trump at 10:30am: "Iran is a terrible horrible country. We will kill all their leaders and bomb them back to the stone age. That is our final offer."

Yes, we're in good hands. Now, about that ballroom--can't we make it bigger?

😩